[Steve Hiatt comes on stage with guitar]

Well, date problems are no longer just a curiosity, because we're rapidly approaching Anno Domino 2000. Anno Domino ("A.D") is Latin for "The Year of Our Lord", and while we may say just "99", The Year of Our Lord actually has four digits in it!

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,
You can feel it out in Redmond, where the wrath of Gates is stored.
We ignored God's first two digits, now we're getting our reward.
As the years go marching on.

[Chorus:]
Glory, glory Hallelujah!
Year 2000's gonna screw 'ya.
All the lawyers gonna sue 'ya,
As the years go marching on.

I've inspected all our software, with ten thousand stinking dates.
I've read all the silly legalese that comes from William Gates.
I know that I'll be lost if I am "He who hesitates",
As the years go marching on.

[Words of chorus appear on screen]
Everybody!

Glory, glory Hallelujah!
Year 2000's gonna screw 'ya.
All the lawyers gonna sue 'ya,
As the years go marching on.

And when this year is over, will the battle have been won?
Will I take a long vacation, in the warm Caribbean sun?
Or will I be in my bunker, guarding cat food with my gun?
As two thousand marches on.

One more time:
Glory, glory Hallelujah!
Year 2000's gonna screw 'ya.
All the lawyers gonna sue 'ya,
As the years go marching on.

Well, that was sterling. Maybe next year we'll get Bruce Bell up here to dance. He was recommended by some place called the Giggling Marlin in Los Cabos, Mexico.